How To Become “Relationship-Worthy”

Transcpription:

The other aspect, the other format relationships come in, is a relationship that is merited, which exists because it deserves to exist. It doesn’t require arrangements or anything like that; people want to be in that relationship. Some people don’t understand what that relationship is. These are like your best friendships, relationships without any prerequisites or arrangements. They exist because you love the person, you like the person, and you value each other.

How you get to that relationship style of deserving, being deserved, being worthy of your relationship, is a state of being deserving, which is deservedness or worthiness. Having a relationship because the persons involved are worthy of that relationship, they’re deserving, they’re worthy of their relationship, meritedness, a relationship that is merited, and the last four words or letters in those words are “n-e-s-s” – “s” mess is a state of being meaning a state of being deserving, a state of being merited, or a state of being worthy.

If you recognize that, it’s the definition of the state of being being, an action word. Being is a verb, meaning what must you do so that you can become deserving of that relationship? What must you do so that you can marry the relationship? What actions must you take so that you can be worthy of that relationship, become worthy of people being attracted to you and gravitating towards you? What actions must you take?

I gave the example in the previous video: if you want the truth, you have to facilitate how you deserve the truth. You have to facilitate open communication, and how you facilitate open communication is you communicate with them. “This is an open communication platform. I promise you, you won’t feel judged; I won’t judge you; I won’t condemn you for telling me the truth, being the person that you are.” And I’m going to come back to that in a few seconds.

How do you get answers? This is a test question, it’s an IQ question. How do you deserve answers? You deserve answers when you ask questions. This might be crazy for some, but to get answers, you ask questions. Why do I say that? It’s because a lot of people don’t ask questions for fear of being diminished; their ego might appear smaller to other people. Essentially, the job of the ego is that it not be diminished in the eyes of others. That’s all its job is. It doesn’t care about you; it only cares about itself. I want to talk a lot about the ego in other videos.

How do you deserve love? Now, some people say, “I deserve love because I exist.” Now, remember that “ness” is deservedness, and it is a state of being. Being is an action word. What must you do, in this context, for all intents and purposes, to deserve love?

Well, people love their pets. I love my cats, and they don’t do anything other than look out for themselves. Why is it that we love our pets? They merely exist. It’s because they facilitate the three things that I insist you facilitate in your relationship. Do you know what those are? The sor-3s: successful open relationship threes that I teach. They facilitate it. They are unconditionally loving; they love you unconditionally. They are non-judgmentally accepting; they accept you as you are, whoever you are, however you are. And number three, they’re openly communicating. You can communicate about anything with them, and they’re not judging you for it. You understand?

Hats, pets, and even humans are incredibly lovable. The only reason that you have a lot of problems being loved or loving is because of the inhibitions you impart on yourself or project onto other people. The inhibitions, the jealousies. Can you imagine a relationship without jealousy? Jealousy actually doesn’t make sense in a relationship. Why would you be jealous? Let’s see: what is jealousy, and what is love? These are two definitions that people don’t really recognize.

Jealousy is a compounded emotion compounded on each other of fear of loss, and in the rage of feeling fear of loss, which is what jealousy is. If you love your beloved, love is your wanting for their happiness intrinsic to your own, the same happiness you want for yourself, you want that for them. If you love them, why would you be jealous? You would genuinely want for their happiness, whether or not you’re involved, whether or not it’s in the same bed with you.

So to be worthy of love, you must love them because they love you already; they’re in a relationship with you. Do you remember that in the beginning of your relationship, you were infatuated with each other? You had admiration, adoration, respect, and you cared about them, cared for their happiness. Whatever made them happy made you feel tremendous joy.

And then certain things happen. You took them for granted; they took you for granted. And now you’re in a relationship where each other takes the other for granted. And now when you communicate, you communicate without respect, without admiration; you just take their communication for granted. You no longer need to get their attention; you just presume their attention. You no longer do things for them to like you; you just presume they like you. You don’t do things for their pleasure; you just presume they’re pleased by you. You don’t do things for them to love you; you just presume they love you. A granted relationship.

And most people, tragically, do not recognize this because it is a convention; it is what you are taught is the standard relationship, the standard model, as it’s called. The standard model being that each partner grants the other, inevitably feeling taken for granted.

So what actions must you do? Let me check: how many 30 seconds, okay. So what actions must you do in the relationship so that you deserve love? You must be loving. Love your partner, want for their happiness, well-being, and gain. You must demonstrate to them that you genuinely love them by genuinely wanting for them to do what makes them happy, satisfied, fulfilled, and actualized, whether or not you’re involved, whether or not it’s in the same bed as you. If they’re enjoying something with another partner or another person, even if that person is incredibly attractive, you want that for them.

“Hey, sweetie, how was your night with that person? Tell me all about it. I would love to hear it. I have absolutely zero jealousy; I genuinely want for what makes you happy, what makes you fulfilled. You’re going to hang out with so-and-so, you’re going to hang out with that cute fellow or that cute gal? Let me know if you need a ride. What can I do to help you?” They’re not going to expect that. They’re going to feel loved; they’re going to feel cared for. They’re going to feel taken care of.

So the new paradigm relationship is the relationship that is not granted. It’s the relationship that is merited, and to be worthy of that, to be deserving of that, it’s a matter of actions and intents and purposes. A relationship that is granted doesn’t need anything to facilitate it; it doesn’t even need a reason to exist. It exists just because it is. A merited relationship, to be deserving of that relationship, is facilitated by being loving.