How to Set Boundaries in an Open Relationship

What Is a Relationship

The first concept you need to appreciate and become enlightened by is this: a relationship is how people or entities interact and interface, and each relationship has unique dynamics. There are no relationships between entities that are the same. Every relationship is unique because every dynamic in that relationship is unique. This is due to the individuals in those relationships. By definition, each individual is unique and will therefore cause a different dynamic in every relationship between entities. There are no relationships between people that are alike or the same, and often they’re completely radical, even when you have so much commonality with another person.

This will become very important when it comes to setting boundaries, and I want to make it very simple for you to understand so you can set boundaries easily in your relationship. These unique individuals have their own particular wants, likes, desires, and preferences. Each individual has these four things, and the thing that I want to point out in this video is their particular desires. These desires have four aspects: they desire it, they’re willing to explore it, they don’t desire it, and finally, they definitely want no part of that thing or activity.

Uniqueness of Relationships

Remember that each relationship is unique because, by definition, it contains individuals who are in relation to each other, creating their own dynamic. Each individual will have their own unique particular wants, likes, desires, and preferences, with desires having four aspects to them: desire for it, willingness to explore it, no desire for it, and definitely not wanting any part of it.

Second Concept

The second concept is that all communication is a negotiation. Every time you speak, you are negotiating. At the very least, at the most fundamental level of your communication, you’re negotiating for someone’s attention. By communicating with you right now, I’m negotiating for your attention because I respect you, honor you, and I do not take you for granted. I’m communicating with you something that either piques your interest or you are interested in, and that is the negotiation.

Negotiating Attention

In a relationship, your partner loves, admires, and adores you. They will pay you attention when you speak, to understand whether or not you merit their attention. But because you love them, you should negotiate or honor them enough to negotiate for their attention. Inevitably, what happens in a relationship is each person takes the attention of the other person for granted. The death knell of every loving relationship is when parties take each other for granted.

How to Set Boundaries

So, how do you set boundaries in your relationship? Negotiation is very easy. It’s simply saying, “Hey, baby, are you willing to explore this? I’m particularly into this thing. What are the things that you desire? What are things that you’re willing to explore? What sorts of things are you really put off by? What sorts of things do you want no part of?” By getting their answers and communicating, you can establish boundaries. This applies to everything, not just sexual activities, but everyday occurrences, habits, and activities as well. Communication is key in understanding each other’s boundaries and respecting them in your relationship.