Polyamory vs Open Relationships, Polygamy, Polyandry and Polygyny

Watch the video on youtube instead: youtube.com/watch?v=DgHvfbvHHVc

Polyamory and Monoamory

Polyamory, originally and etymologically, means multiple love. “Poly” means multiple; “amor” means love. Polyamorous means multiple loves, as opposed to monoamorous. That’s the opposition; that’s the juxtaposition. A monoamorous relationship is when people believe they can only love one person. Polyamorous people believe they can love multiple people.

But the important distinction, the delineation, is that an open relationship is a polyamorous relationship, and that’s where the confusion begins. The confusion begins with the idea that an open relationship is a polyamorous relationship, but a polyamorous relationship may not be an open relationship. Here’s why:

Polygamy vs. Polyamory

Because people in polyamorous relationships conflate polyamory with polygamy. A polygamous relationship is one where multiple people are married to each other, a marriage of multiple people, as opposed to its counterpart, which is monogamy. So, polygamy’s counterpart, its juxtaposition, is monogamy—being one person married to one person.

People who believe they are in a polyamorous relationship conflate that they are actually in a polygamous relationship, being married to multiple people. That is a closed relationship because, in an open relationship, people who say, “I’m not in an open relationship; I’m in a polyamorous relationship,” are actually in a polygamous relationship, people married to multiple people.

Polyandrous, Polygynous, Polygamous and Monogamous

And that also takes different formats: a polyandrous relationship is one woman married to multiple men; a polygynous relationship is one man married to multiple women; and a polygamous relationship is multiple people married to each other, as opposed to a monogamous relationship, one person married to one person.

So, the important distinction and delineation that it’s important for you to know is that an open relationship is a polyamorous relationship. To all the polyamory people: an open relationship is a polyamorous relationship. Do you understand? But people in polyamorous relationships may not be in an open relationship because they conflate polyamory with polygamy; they are actually polygamous.

So, what do I think about this? What is my perspective on relationships? What is my style? What do I consider my relationship as? I’m the only person you’ve ever heard call it this because, and it’s because of the way I see relationships, and I’m going to explain that to you now; it’s going to be very clear.

Versions of “Closed Relationships”

I’m the only person you’ve heard say that these aspects—polygamous, polyandrous, polygynous relationships—are versions of closed relationships, just like a monogamous relationship is a closed relationship of two people, one and one. A polygamous relationship, polyandrous relationships, and polygynous relationships are closed relationships of multiple people.

Open Relationships

I do not consider myself in a closed relationship; I consider myself in an open relationship. But the reason why I make that delineation between open and closed relationships is because the perspective I have on relationships, my style of relationship, if you were to ask me what my style is, is open, fundamentally based on unconditional love, non-judgmental acceptance, and open communication. And the reason I make that important delineation is very important, and here’s why: it’s big because no closed relationship can facilitate those three things. 

Conditional Love

A closed relationship, whether it’s closed with multiple people or closed with one-on-one, one person and one person, cannot facilitate unconditional love because, by definition, they are in a closed relationship. If they were to stray away from that closed relationship, if they were to escape from it, they would no longer have that condition of love. It is a conditional love relationship. They are loving relationships with the condition of sexual exclusivity, whether sexual exclusivity is to one or to multiple people. Do you understand? Which is why I do not delineate myself, do not refer to myself as closed. While most people don’t also call themselves that, they are. 

Unconditional Love

So, my style is open, fundamentally based on unconditional love, my genuine wanting for my beloved’s happiness intrinsically tied to my happiness, which means I want for them to live the biggest life that they can. There is no jealousy involved, there is no aspect or idea of ownership involved in the relationship. I think it’s heinous and insane if you love the person. If the arrangement is unconditional, if the arrangement is something else, like a business arrangement or a land or property or real estate deal, then that’s a whole different thing.

Nonjudgmental Acceptance

Non-judgmental acceptance means accepting the person for who they are, and open communication means each partner has the ability to openly communicate. Let me prove that to you: if you’re in a closed relationship, whether it’s with multiple polygamous people or monogamous people, will they be able to be themselves with their own particular desires? “Oh, I see that really cute girl,” or “I see that really cute guy.” Can they really talk about that with their partner if they’re in a closed relationship? I don’t think so.

So, that’s the important delineation: an open relationship is a polyamorous relationship. Polyamorous people, take note. But a polyamorous relationship may not be an open relationship, and they actually conflate between polygamy and polyamory. And that’s the lesson of definitions for today.

If you want to learn more about my SOR system of relationships, see Successful Open Relationship system. If you want to learn more, visit Great Relationship University. If you want to see my book, the link’s in my bio; it goes to my Amazon, and it’s called “Relationships 101“